fiends

comeout of the walls worse than crutched old hoseback men on canes, delivering babies, too busy nodding off to see her so sad i cannot lrt hrr be no matter how she uses me....a mother torn from her baby because of a world where she cant fit the mold, so she says goodbye....and shes sad and fucked up and makes no sense and everyone knows shes psycho........but they let her in......a fix is worth a thousand peoples love..............shes torn between a baby ,thats supposed to be in her arms and a needle thatpokes in deep................

what can i do

she is volitile can swing any direction,,,,is cruel,,doesnt know what or where or even if


but regardless that i am a vehicle for her stay before her bussride....she thrills me,,,,,,when shes concious we have the most fun.....but thta not often.....shes sleeping right now......

so she offeerrss spilt juice,,,,,,, a tank of gas minus...........and a bitchy sad.............but fragile


beeing like we all.................



do i care she only takes...yes... do I want to be seen for what im doing...........these things may come to her on some sobering moment walking down canal st w/ her next BF.......


so sad,,she says IM SAD"""""" I say "I Know" I wish i could take it away////"i miss my baby" of course you do" oh honey why cant you find sollace in my armss rather than a needle point...................... I can give you so much........ If you wil let go of this enemy and that fucking bitch.............and do for yourself what you neeed to do,,


lowdown..

girl has baby
girl gives baby for adoption
Girl and baby are on methadone
insurance cuts off methadone
when she gives baby

result............

dropped from 70 mgs to copping dope every fucking day...

she TOLD me and her mother gave her money for suboxone for the bussride

this isnt a fucking sauna story, or some social tell a joke brunch w/ your rich freinds...

This is life at its hardest people....loose your baby,,,,,,,,be sick every day.............and sad

where nothing will ever take the pain away

so i let her sleep

i let her sleep until dawn
crawl,,,and that pretty face may have a smile


im tellin you any man would be at his wits end....hormones,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,drugs............................i want this....................no--------i WANT THIS..............................TAKE ME HERE,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,


fuck it just get me high...."IM SAD: I just wanna get high...............i know ya do honey....."i made a bad choice I want her back""" mICCINA " lOOK at you you cant raise a child, your all strung out..." I know BUt I miss Him"

known as a psycho.............she has beautiful lonh black hair,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,an extremeley attractive face, even her body is great after the baby,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

I kNow I cant REALLY help this girl......IM just like a drug or a patch on a wound....I could be anny man...............she 's street smart.. its ok shes not even interested in anythinhg sexual,,,,neither am i...............sure, i wish i fealt that attraction where a casual brush of an arm
tells you so much.....shes everything that I could want....................I mean she could be...

I was a junky............I dont judge her..............................i dont let her abuse my help,,,but if god gave her the ability to radiate a glow that attracts guys like me to answer the phone,,,and make all the decions for her, well wtf....................all i can do is let her know im here..............



I KNOW SHE DOESNT CARE WHO HELPS HER ATTAIN HER MEDICINE,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
I KNOW THATSHE KNOWS I FIND HER ATTRACTIVE AND IM A SUCKER

sure id love her to just cuddle with me

but shes torn.....................she needs her baby and im not it...

so i let her sleep....


micinna dont you see how beauriful you are.............and that howgiving th baby was the better option............................you need major psychhelp,,,, cant ..girl your a junky babe and i do love ya
and you mayonly remember lighting my nose on fire ,,,but we laughed, and today when we walked in the evening, and you asked to come with me, ,,,Iknow their cruel,,,,,,i know noone will give u a break,, I know none of its your fault i your mind,,,,,,, so from now on im just going to be gentle................no more bickering because your unstable..............you cant do what you know you should.........im glad to help you

but like i told you 2nitr no matter how sad and confused you are you gotta consider other peoples hearts......................Ive seen you smile and laugh..................and someday if life allows you will again........................im greatful that you crossed paths, im greatful when you are here


just touching your hair,,,,,,,,,,,,,


and telling you ,,,its ok ,,,,,your right, if getting high is your only patch so be it...

at least there junkies with jobs,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,funny i wonder if people know that your accountant shoots heroin on the weekends.................that "normal" people do drugs
OMG OH its not BEER,,,so I change the chemical...Im the one with the problem


you get home poor a scotch relax pop a vivodin........................

man im an addict so i dont use drugs because ill be roadkill,,,,


but let it be known......heroin is a bad drug............but the depth of misery has no bounds
if it eases her mind
who am I to
drink my scotch or pop my pill
and tell her .......................oh i know you just lost your baby , goy kicked dolphine hcl.

have rampant depression...........

shit one needs shot to deal........not I ......................shell begone in a week


till than...................i will try to give her some eastern perspective..as she lives truely in eachmoment

wait that is buddhism...