artists father

Mark E Merrill

shes one

every day brings a new day
yesterday i let a crackhead in to use teh phone
today im filing a police report
yesterday a guys telling me how his face turned blue
today a girls dying to join him
yesterday i had a dream
today i only dream

yesterday i cared about my blog
today i couldnt care about a hog
yesterday they cared
today they dont

life grows older
people grow colder
nothing is very much fun annymore


but I can FEEEEL
cold as a razor blade
tight as a turnicade
dry as a funeral drum


i have chose a new .....


words wrap themselves around
the girl who sits silently in my loft
next to th epainting
and the dirty clothes

I get out today
today is my day

I chill the town over
with my unshaven tools
i found them in a bag
at a lawyers auction

some pipes
an opium slider

but how long will it last

SA sitting in your cell

is it my fault that you took what
u needed for your cocaine high

i just pay another guy

u coulda brought it back
but how would that have helped

how would that turn the wheel of your existence

the last one died

better off your in prison

ill get another computer
i forgive ya chum.

just another day

make-up

thought cameleon

sitting there my thoughts became reversed, i saw my words Id said, and how they
effected the ones I cared about. I had written a text message to a freind and realized she'd never
reply,,I than wrote a message less ego-centric and included a chance for her to respond w/o trapping her into a corner.

My body also became light- for the first time in years depression and anxiety lifted and I fealt
My neurons become electric, my beeing fealt as though every thought were toward light toward health, i thought of past experiences my actions my words..every word I said was said with thought and in a philisophical way. The experience came and left me with a gift.

however I cannot fully explain or BE in this STATE unless IN , however My general attitude is more health conscious and more about every action decision and thought.
This state is attanable and NO drugs had I taken..in fact Less drugs were in my blood and were
definateley a factor.

spirit

image captured with webcam. around 3am all darkness.

I choose to wear this stigma on my neck
e
as i sleep my pillow holds the door to a key i never did see before

but that aint the fact jack

a key to cols breakfast
lies with the paintings you set aside

it lies with the lines on new years eve
it lies on beeing fucked up
tell me when is it rightwhen is it wrong
it"fealt" fucked up

and I actually dont smoked thank you...

years of growth
turned upside down
poor me
yeah poor mother f'ing me
where were you when I
was hungry
where were you when
I ached to spread my soul
and I was covered and caught
with a glass bottle

so so easy to add it all up
absoluteley O part in my LIFE]
BUT YOU are the all knowing GOD

That cannot take critisism
I will defend myself
from false claims

and if annyone can say
theve never been" fucked UP"
driving with a buddy
talkin and listin to music

If Lines on the mirror
tell you its ok once a year
than what does each drink say
as it washes away the pain

change the chemical
chnge the chemical

sum me up in a jar

time doesnt matter when isolation sets in

and theres no blAIM
EXCEPT THAT THE OCURRANCES OF THAT EVENING WERE TOLD TO YOU WRONG

AND AN ACTION FORGOTTEN W/ NO MEANNING
IS SUCH A DEAL THAT iT ALMOST STARTS VIOLENCE

its f0---cked up that
you tell me to shut the F UP
and Im full Of S**t

TRUTH
U never cared if or if could change

all those ....subtle blowoffs I recall
And when it came to a head..You were quick to make things "not feel right"

Tell me "NO TRUST"

Tell ya what U dont get My trust
as one who can listen

as one who cannot be bended
or fathom That You put me in a category

and instead of dealing w/ an issue
You chose to beleive
Your default

y

10:26 AM
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