do u ever come

she tells me she 'll be there in the hot night, she has used up every credit, her nature is to use, but she saysa were freinds,,,im not attracted, no feelings,,,she lied....why why cant just this once you feel for me, so alone you lie there and i become more isolated, your touch once telling lies now is gone...the lies u used were beauty....i sacrificed all for some nights with you....we were a team,, i was in a dream,,,you were so close,,,i was that annoying fatirl i treatedbadly.........how did it get like this...

why did i give u so much.......what was i expecting............its time to grow,,,i cant stand still,,if id only known,,,,no amount of money could have shown me this.

it wasnt money but you forcing me to see what ive become,,,, what i need to do ..that im not trapped...ive lived your life at least part of it,,,,i know you took and used id done the same....you laughed , i numbed you i maintained your pain managed it

am i evil for wanting companionship,,,,,even if it cost me my skin...

youll be gone......i placed all my bets on you, and you just needed sollace.

just someone go against the tide with.............am i that repulsive,,,,, wow


some say drugs helps creativity. well, what theyve helped, they took away the origin. life. life beyond TV and breakfast.....life beyond a cry for help, life beyond a fruitful past and a connection random, to a few higher beeings,,,,


im not me, havent been, ive missed you,,,, seeing me recognizing me, trusting me, i miss simple drives, listening to the RHCP ..................what hurts is its after 30..........if not now when???? took it all for granted
made the decision you all knew i would,,, and i was doin so good
fuck i gave myself a chance
found my only support in the room
with water and pins and bits of personalities
....went astray
not much else to say
brother
im climbing out
please come to me...

i made a few bad choices
cost me alot
but i couldnt walk away

she eas an excuse
got caught in the middle
but it was life

somethings that been lacking

least i have something to show
could have been worse

pick up the peices
and move on
slowly manipulating time

im not the man i used to be
and it pains me
beacause i see it in your eyes

if nothing else a lesson learned
,,,,,,.....always at an expense

ahhhh.........
i knew all along....
she didnt care
but it gave me hope

just to hold her
and tell her everythings ok
tonight.