blank slate the denial of human nature

Skitzo meets underworld

Before I awoke I had fell from the school style bus. After watching two jump a leap as high as the golden gate from the water.. I simply intended to watch. B4 I knew it I had fallen w/out a reason. The fall was livable...thoughts like "fuck" went through my mind...but I hit the water.....and awoke so far underneath the water....and so week ...w/ no energy to swim to the surface...the struggle to go deeper exhausted me..& the time it took took my breath...I flipped my arms in circles...trying to think about making it to the surface ... In an instant fear took over...the surface too far reasoning.... elemental downward forces. no more air .
all I can take
no rescue.
I was pushed
I would rather die.
kill me
I give up...my end is here...one more
noise one more
car
one more shred of doubt
I'm ready
they pushed
I can only take so much
shoot me
but if not
than let me be
or ill take my odds w GOD
I'm a good person who's made mistakes.
I admit
I'm too weak
drowned .....
its done or I cannot go on.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

fears of humanity, fears when dreaming...the sun and moon and stars are on your side...endlessness and unblinking eyes witnesses of folly and frailty...the sun will warm you and the moon and stars will mean that you're never alone when you disparingly look out of a window in the dead hours of morning...
why?
because i gaze at the same skies...

DAD

DAD
My Father by Mark Merrill