Down Under & Up Above

Ahh why do I push people away. Well..becuz I've learned. Humans are needy. I've been told I'm as well.
I've always since a young pimple faced boy been overly self - concious. The stress of facing popular rich well dressed boyz who examined my clothes....couldnt go one morning w/0 " noticing my ability to be affected by their comments..niiiiice shirt...briiiii aaannnnn..........
I bcame skilled at a sport, n when I bcame a real competitor- the main bully who's families money & grandfather- a govenor in my state put a chip.....& there we have it
microcosm of so many adult s......my neighbor, silver spoon type....she complains - pounds the wall .....at 6 pm...
She hears/senses every sound to where I'm walking on egg shells.....

Every tenant who is not a str8 or business person.....is shit on.....ive been threatened to b kicked out for living.......

The manager thinks he's inspector cuso'....he says to me..." u beeing good"......
I say I'm 35 . But I did stay up past my bedtime......oh and played w matches.....

I can feel his sneaky power tripping......i just feel he goes in my apt.
if he thinks u smoke pot or drink....or god 4bid burn incense ......he the postman& the cleaning lady......

An old drunk woman falls outside my door.

A islander deals from his windowsill.

Collge kids break walls.

I watch a movie past 9 pm on a weekday. someone sees a red haired pierced art student.....now I let homeless stay...

I cannot have company....
Bcuzz the system doesn't like that I've become near.....where the yuppies lie.

I'm quite used to this..
I must have been quite evil in a past life.

Addiction is treated medically, its mixed up w/ morality.....its been 5 years.
I empathize w/ young feens.
My roots are there.
However I do not wish to befriend one who's addiction leads them. Good they may be. But I am not a counselor. Young girls who see me follow me promise & lie so I might think they know more.....
I can only speak truth that I feel....i shall not hurt for hurting....but I shall be alone...rather than with a shell.......

I sense fri night police curuosity....as I sit in my car at 2 am by the water...sk I'm burning