arithmatic of thought magic

I have become to their beleif what a messiah is to a trap or a snipers crosshairs... figure it out..

how????
insult
simple
no iother thoughts..
takes something
but it is your disbeleif of your breath.
of your blood or your sounds that call you to the north..

inside your body inside your mind
lies a thought that will connect you to a reason
when will goodness hear itself
what does it feel like to feel goodness
do u even know
what is it???

if it is what it is
than noone moves
accept
the lesser
as the greater
has contemplated too long

if u tell us
well stop too
so soon we have no info
whats next



thought. is funny
it is assuming of a world of contemplation
a world of resoponsibility
to be and to be intelligent as we feel.
or as we are inside..
when we are what we are as we are only as we are
when noother thought could or would ever enter the mind to say
he there...its your turn....hey...wake up....youve been asleep way too long
..he like we from what we have become..mix our hopes our feelings inside,, with how happy or content or understood by the ones we develop our life strings or our life dependencies to our meaning as individuals...
how much of this and that to be as a equation how much hope how much bitterness how much resentment how much confusion how much torn and twisted wasted numbed as the pain is too real...
we feel we are the fault.
we see her as our own fault..as our alter of goodness.
we all succumb to goodness in our heart
we al need out mother\
to be all we sense and feel
we cry abandoned by our mothers who have left us for a selfish need..we give to one everything we are when that can be not anything..we hope for good but we feel empyt/
we all feel what we are or feel...we deserve nothing as we have everything to wabnt o give but cannot give it.
u see. we have it to give but we are not able so we are guilty at the alter of love where inadequecy runs rampent in insecurities of purities that are insecurities not goodities thazt we say we punish ourselves to offer her when she is human we see her as not what we are as we love not as she as her body as we are not in the curves or the hair//we are hiddeous inside our pleasdure for she cannot ever feel us worthy or beautiful when we are so selphisdh in our nature..

we right oursdelves off as bad when before we act even we are afraid as we have noone as we should ...
she is beauty always but as us
she has so much reflection
of truth could not be ever recognized only in steps
of honest
declerations of truth...for faith only can we be in pain of our existence
we are taking
so we are not loving
ha
we all can give to another
ha
so u give and than get

how else
i have fompassion]
for us all
but
little disdain for a selfish moral man'
if i am than u
but no
its your eyes too many wholes...no more fighting for not even having a clue but to feel as a man and feel as whayt ud be ..

logic says
sexuality in men
are not unnatural
toward her at the time when she reaches out

he may be hiddeous
if he can never please her

that fear i have
i ran friom before
thought to run to it
but it never was responsible
in noone could i hide
only as a human in my reesponsibility
to be as i am\
all that i have to be to not be in fearful hiding of no life
of beeing all for myself i say i say i dont look at her for they way she needs to see..that exciytes all at first
'instead i say i turn and hide but say
i love u but cannot
]i am inadequate
but say i love
i say i love my jealousy and my inadequecy and lack of complete utter communication and trusting kindness thoughts which wouldve set it str8

see my thoughts before any act
effected
always
this happenns


u think i be inclined to be attracted or to be so unhuman or evil to u know what

so fuck off
and i can say it
]as u listened to them too fuckinhg lonhg
im here
be pissed
as i dont take prisoners
i care for you asshole