blank slate the denial of human nature

taste of CHEAP SANDWICHES

If th
*Page 1* C H E A P S A N D W I C H E S
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*Page 2*
sunlight
when sun cast golden shadows
and morning air
breathes
gently into your
skin
change
is
inevitable
from slumbery seasons
of rigidity
to liquid warm
thirsty soil
a reborn soul
rises weightless
to the surface
floating
in a pool of
memories
too clear to remember
and too alive
to ever
forget
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*Page 3*
honey bead
honey bead
poppy seeds stolen
my mind
doctor, oh doctor
magical paper
of gold
orange juiced popcorn
and a brand new car
siphoning worms out of the wall
blue woman
how we all want you
take a picture
green monsters of hate
torment the masses
make them conform
serotonin surging
oozing and cut-up
love
in the afternoon
dreams forgotten
and again
lust from an incarnate
single red rose
lost in a mist
twist of heart
pierced and bleeding
ten-thousand feet and climbing
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*Page
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ahhhh

pencil

one right way path laconia NH

gettin back

back to the startin line

memories

bring a smile

and a frown

like when I get sick
sick of fucking selphish people
in selphish towns

we sat in the wind
w pints.
dianne worked the coffee shop
sittin w the bosses dime
thinkin..she came and sat on my lap.
cute she was
but my mind was on doin time.

livin it up.
aug complained of work
as I came home w/a line
one line....than
a nature TRIP
radical ferries
came home to see a state document...

I knew .
sure enuff
that line cost me 13 months.

watched the cars
guards ,shit...i was taken from my rack.
a seargent all millitary like stood waiting.
they took me througj this secret door to a room w/ 3 liutenants.
I t was a bad dream that somwow was my reality.
like the movies. who beought the Heroin? I got on paper enougj to lugg you....no visits...send u to shoe:these fucks had my brain twisted...I knew I didn't do shit...but they knew I did....askin me crazy ass questions.....than it turned...forget about u 4 a minute..the glassy cold as ice eyed stare of lt. como or lt homo...this dude was mean....if any of us had to see him......ur ballssheunk in ur stomache....we know what's goin on but we want u to tell us or be sent where inmates get stabbed.or brains smashed in..guards had full riot geare...u get these nice red outfits....all I did was say the same thing...i stay in bed and read...i haven't done H ordo I know....sir I won't be a rat sir.....GO IN THE HALLWAY....THINK ABOUT UR ANSWER WHEN U COME BACK U BETTER TELL US....
would it end?
finally a woman seaegent came...i was in tears....didnt realize the sick game their playin...same mentality as rendition or how the US stomps on all our rights.
that effected how I saw things...and I was quite positive b4 that.....annyway don't know why I picked that...but its in my history
goodnite

h

stupa drunk

around when we got sick of the cops thunderinh " I know the guns in here" between the roaches and pissy warm shower & a barefoot bang......between 5am turkey dinner take-outs...& .025 cent cookies sustaininhg.....we moved out of the casa loma thougjt of &s house of dirt- mark slept in violet (my gf's truck) I remember moving him....snickering at t e insanity of it all.....,around that time...Id been making trips to Berkeley to the Nyingma INT w/ the hopes of beeing sent North to Odiyon...rigorous testing of will& physical mental condition -overall motivation for the 6 month committment....

how would I have guessed my future.. from a sacred high 2....walking into 5oo fillmore w/ blue chelsae pete sistar cozmos august mark and I....what a crowd.
chelsae OD'd. we all woke to petes screaming.. It was alien to me than... blue& chelsae were very ok beeing half naked.....and I a too shy boy....once was askedif blues right or left breast was bigger....I locked myseld in our room....Than The famous boy on boy lover real man fight....& the tarot cards that combusted.....
,Mark left to visit the E coast. Aug met thiz pierced NY guy who turned him on. I'd stay & watch at his request....Nirvanna came out w/ teen spirit the lyrics fit my broken heart...it was so new....august was much more social...I went along to parties but always afraid to meet My anxiety was at the cofee shop , on our walks to art stores...mark called me peroshski ..we always got one at the coener...wedvisoliver sometimes...i wish I'd stayed on track w/ the free radical feeling I got their....but I never fealt good...
eventually the chaos got me a rented closet in a large and haunted home.....mark went to live w/ a friend from noc noc.....man that bar was the place....met cheryl there....fell deep for her so old I thought at 27......
soon I would party smoking black tar...w/owen a rich artist from santa-barbara. I was 19. it was 1992....
end here 2 nite..
maybe we don't live in past
but why not write it.

DAD

DAD
My Father by Mark Merrill